"No you cant you’re 7" I laughed but this is wonderful
I love this!!!!
30 days of Doctor Who
Day 03: Favorite male companion
How long after arriving at someone’s house is it appropriate to ask for the WiFi password?
This is one of the best responses to men against abortion ever
It’s a great time to be an avid reader. I just read a couple of books by Gayle Forman (If I Stay and the follow-up Where She Went) and I went to search on tumblr for some stuff and found out it’s shooting right now and will be released in August! I am so freaking excited.
1. “Problem Areas”
Thanks for telling me I have great boobs but I should work on my stomach, dude I’m dating that I just realized was an asshole. I don’t seem to possess this magical fat that I can move around at will. I can’t just lose weight in one area, so either the boobs stay with stomach or you get less of both. I’m not giving you options, aforementioned asshole, I’m explaining to you how bodies work. Or you could, you know, google it.
2. Buying Jeans
Oh, sizing. At any given time I fit into 4 different sizes. Are these my size, or am I am going to have these jeans stuck around my ankles until an underpaid sales associate has to cut me out of their vise-like death grip? Damn you retailers. I would buy so much more of your shit online if you would at least have make sure your own damn sizing charts relate to the clothes you’re selling.
3. Clothes Policing
Thanks for telling me I could probably pull off a bikini. I’m sure I could, they’re very easy to get out of, unlike too-small skinny jeans. I bought this suit to cover up my raging case of backne, not because I felt the world couldn’t handle me in all the publicly permissible areas of its glory. Not that I want to share that so sure, let’s pretend my belly is the source of complete, crippling embarrassment. Don’t suck your teeth and ask me if I should really be wearing those shorts either. Why should the parts of my legs with cellulite miss out on the glorious sun?
4. You’re judged by numbers that are poorly understood
Oh, and I just love this conversation y’all are having about your favorite boob size, it’s so informative. You like them big, but not too big? Like a C-cup. Not to interfere with your refined taste in something women have little control over (short of surgery, or magical fat movement described in 1), but I don’t think that letter means what you think it means. Here I am, rocking some DDs, but I’m not going to explain how band size and cups size are related and then have to explain that your ex-girlfriend who had a much bigger chest and wore a size D was probably wearing the wrong size. I’m just going to accept that you think my boobs are “too big” based on my boob-harness measurement, and be thankful there are no numbers related to cellulite.
5. Furthermore, But you don’t look like a ____ is considered a compliment
Yes, I do weigh ______ and thus I’m fairly confident that this is one of the ways ______ can look. Thanks for telling me I carry weight well, but I’m pretty sure this a normal weight for women of my size, height, and musculature. Weighing over 120 pounds isn’t something I think I should be embarrassed about, but I guess I should take that to heart to avoid this painful conversation in future.
6. Constant, but Inconsistent Commentary
I’m too fat to one person, too thin to the other, plus all of those “problem areas”…can’t everyone just pick a thing? Please stranger, tell me whether I should eat this sandwich or not, my simple mind is too consumed with with my myriad of insecurities. Can I like my body without you finding the proper label to put on it? No? Then keep on reducing to me physical form, it’s not like I’ve got anything else going on!
7. You’re not allowed to have strong feelings about your body
If I love my body the way it is, people will think I’m delusional because obviously it’s not ideal. But I shouldn’t express insecurity about my body, because it’s still mostly acceptable and insecurity is sooo unattractive. I will just keep hoping the commentary I keep hearing reaching a consensus so I know what I’m allowed to feel.
8. But you should be happy, “real women” are sexy
Oh, great, you think Christina Hendricks is a bombshell. I’m so fortunate that you celebrate the beauty of a woman with a body type that I can’t achieve without completely changing my genetics. When I gain weight, I tend to turn into more of a pillowy column then gain curves, but I can cling to the fact that I’m still a woman. We consider women people, right?
9. Any self-improvement is assumed to arise from insecurity
I’m trying to eat better and work-out more because I want to finally be able to do a pull-up, but I guess that’s less important than you thinking I look fine the way I am! What if I want to look better than fine? What if I’m doing this so I feel great in my own skin? What if I think I look great but want to reduce my risk of heart disease? Oh right, you’re very concerned about how my health affects your eyeballs. I’ll keep that in mind.
10. You can’t forget about all of the other things
I’m not one of those girls who would great in anything, I shouldn’t kid myself. Hair, clothing, cuticle care: these are non-optional if I want to attract a mate. I’ve looked over the “how to dress for your body type” articles featuring women so much thinner than me that I’ve convinced myself that I don’t have problem areas, I have crisis areas. Also now I’m stressed about my short torso that I didn’t even realize was a thing I need to fix until just now. The only women who look remotely like me are in the “bathing suit fails” section, so I’m going to remind myself this isn’t allowed to make me insecure and move on with my life. Because no matter what I feel, achieve, build, change, love, or overcome, my appearance will always be up for discussion.
I’ve changed my mind. Instead of the magical fat mover, I’ll take an opt-out button from this bullshit.
are you ever in the middle of saying something or showing someone something and you realize that literally no one cares
I’ve literally stopped talking mid-word in a story and no one has noticed.
"well, i read a lot"
"cool! what kind of stuff do you like to read?"
"oh, you know, mostly amateur erotica based on existing media franchises"
All of Aimee’s fanfiction text posts deserve 28,000 notes.
doctor who meme | 1/10 episodes » the day of the doctor
30 Books for 2014 | 03.05
Where She Went by Gayle Forman | 10 of 30
why don’t they have big hyped up award shows for books
best male/female character
best plot development
best plot twist