March 2012
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
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cross off the things you’ve done.
Graduated high school.
Collected something really stupid. (lip balm lol)
Smoked a cigarette.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time without sleep.
Lied to someone.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Smoked weed.
...
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Reblog if you actually like reading.
thelastimelordstardis:
an-anthem-to-ambivalence:
benedictcumberbatchseyebrows:
j-moriarty:
Reading. The one thing that can keep me off of tumblr for days.
"I believe that getting lost with someone in a...
Totally agree. Josh and I got lost in the mountains (while driving) and we were singing “100 bottles of beer on the wall” to keep from freaking the fuck out.
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February 2012
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Weird lunch
I just had a cold sausage mcmuffin breakfast sandwich, 4 chocolate peanut butter girl scout cookies, and a handful of cheez-its. Lol
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Happy Leap Year :)
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sonofafilmgeek replied to your post: I GOT A NEW JOB I GOT A NEW JOB I GOT A NEW JOB
Congratulations, what’s the job?
It’s at a mulch place, which sounds really weird. It was listed as a cashier job, but what happens is we take orders for deliveries for landscaping companies and stuff and then radio out to the yard how much, what kind, etc. and then they pull up on the truck weight and I...
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I GOT A NEW JOB I GOT A NEW JOB I GOT A NEW JOB
OMG. Omg I’m so excited. More pay, more hours, less stupid questions. Like a proper grown-up job.
So not changing my tumblr name though, at least not yet. OMG I can’t believe I got it.
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